Mark 10:1-12
10:1 Then He arose from there and came to the region of Judea by the other side of the Jordan. And multitudes gathered to Him again, and as He was accustomed, He taught them again. 2 The Pharisees came and asked Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" testing Him. 3 And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?" 4 They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her." 5 And Jesus answered and said to them,
"Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 6 But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.' 7'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8'and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." 10 In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter. 11 So He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." NKJV
The hardness of heart against someone can surely produce bad results!
Jesus tells the Pharisees that Moses wrote them this precept because of the heart issue.
Man is to leave his father and mother. Simple!
Man is to take a wife(female) and be joined to her. And what God has joined together.......let not man separate.
Have you been around a family member, and they appear to speak kinder words to the "said" parents or siblings than they do to their wife and/or husband? Have you even seen a group of family members join with another family group, and one member spends more time with their own family from birth than with the entire group?
Certainly, as one gets older, and prayer is a part of their lifestyle, you can see more vividly those images from gatherings past and see a pattern or image forming. In rehearsing the Word of God and setting up that "tent" over that scripture or passage, we can see from God's revelation of what it is saying: plain and simple!
I was wondering today how many couples really talk with one another............or if they just talk at one another! You can certainly see it at the grocery store, the specialty shop or even at special restaurant.
Little over a year ago, we were having an anniversary. We had picked the perfect spot in the mountains, with fireplace and special foods we like. My husband had made the reservations and we were prompt in arriving some 15 minutes ahead. The lighting was beautiful. The fireplace had a beautiful warmth that was inviting on that windy, cold night. We were seated, and had drinks festive for a cold winter night. Yes, something warm was good.
I had noticed a couple seated on the opposite side from us but still in full view of the fireplace. They had a table like ours with the beautiful white linen cloth, napkins and table setting. Yet, this couple sat across from each other. Each had their phone in hand, but the husband had shut his off, but the wife kept looking or should I say focused on her phone. They were nicely dressed for the evening. He tried conversation, but alas he got her hand raised up to him as to say,'wait a minute'. SHE WAS FOCUSED on the entire phone texting for the length of the meal.
Meanwhile, we are being served our food. Delicious indeed! I always enjoy the appetizers there! Then our steaks were served. And the third couple came in. Aah too, it was a special evening for this young couple. She was looking longingly into his eyes as they were seated.............and her chair could not get any closer than it was without sitting in his lap. She would smile at him and he at her as well. The waiter comes, the young man tells him that he had proposed marriage to his young lady...earlier in the afternoon........and of course, the waiter must take a look at the beautiful ring, as well as Shelley did too, I might add! Yes, it was beautiful. They ordered some wine to toast and then ordered their food.
Yes, three couples that night and each was celebrating. Ours of course was of many years married, and the other couple well,the lady was happy with her phone indeed! And of the third, well love was all-around and I am certain they could hear birds singing and bells ringing.
The couple at the first table, lady with cell phone left. We were probably there an hour and half, and we too departed to bliss of our home and little dog awaiting our arrival. As for the third couple, I figured they closed the place.
I had remarked to my husband, how we had laughed and tried the food and enjoyed the great flavors. We enjoyed each other's company and did not think about the other's family members as mother, father, sisters or brothers, or neighbor next door, or church friend, but really enjoyed being with one another.
Yes, that was some months ago, and I revisit that night and wonder if that one couple is together anymore. For he certainly wanted to visit with her and talk but she was just too darn busy texting SOMEONE ELSE!
I remember when I was working, and one lady or two would talk about their evening at length. They would mention that they called their parents and spent a length of time with them on the phone, but the other spouse knows nothing of it or the conversation. I always wondered what the secrecy was all about!
I always tell my husband when I am calling family, as he tells me the same. We always try to have it when we are together, but sometimes it does not work so well to do that. But in regard to our spouse, do we keep them in the loop when communicating with others?
I remember hearing this occur: man of 40+ years goes over to visit his mother ( and she is not sick) all afternoon instead of working and wife does not know about the visit till the mother-in-law mentions it some days later. Yes, I have seen that as well. Why did it need to be a secret? But after these many years of reading and looking into that perfect law of liberty, I reflect on instances when one spouse telling the other of a phone call seemed to cause said person much grief to the point of being sick about it.
And I am always drawn to this scripture........that man is to leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife.
Genesis 2:24
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. KJV
It does not say to be his "housekeeper", but his wife that is one flesh to him!
When a man takes a wife..........that bond is to be stronger than those set up in nature as the mother of the child. And that is a strong bond indeed, as the mother KNOWS when the child needs her attention immediately! When that child is grown, that umbilical cord should be cut. Surely our children are to have consent of both sets of parents to marry, but the relationship then is the man with his wife. Leaving mommy and daddy behind and to have a life that raises children to do the same. Go and take dominion over the earth. And not be dominated by the technology of cell phones, or any other device.
The husband should be one who will revere his wife as the one and only woman in his life.
I have also heard excuses why they call "mommy and daddy" so much. They are much too long to list here, but certainly the heart is involved in the communication.
Again, how much do we communicate with "mommy and daddy" and is it more than with husband or with wife?
We can look at the Creation and see Adam and Eve. And there is no mention of mommy dearest or dad.............BUT it mentions God very clearly. So in scheme of things, and marriage takes place by consent of both set of parents of the couple, then clearly, the Head is to be God, And Jesus as Lord, and husband and the wife. That too me, would be the communication line. And if it is not, then there is a problem. It is a BIG PROBLEM!
Ultimately, the husband is to find a love with the wife the Lord has given him. His helpmate is walking beside him, so she should know what his every move would be, not find out some days or months later.............like "oh yeah, did I mention mom and dad are wanting us to come for a visit on...............(this date)?" Being a teenager, I paid attention to a lot of things, and I always wondered what was wrong with people just talking to each other. To me, communication was a big thing in attending school and in class participation. Those who surely did not want to do that oral book report, well, you would know them well, and they were generally those who were the very last ones who would make their way to the front with a hand grip on paper that would bend it into two halves and they would never look at the audience all the while speaking. I always wondered what they found on the floor that was so interesting.
Walking beside him, the wife should know what is on his mind, and what his thought process is. Her being the more gentler of the two, still is the mate who should soothe the brow of husband. She should have the sympathy or any affection ready...........and they should have the common interests, but if husband (or wife) finds more interest in said family they left when getting married, then again one should look at why that is happening.
I should not give more attention to another than my husband. He foremost is my husband, and head of our home. But he also has to know God, and have a relationship with Him. He is to consult the Holy Spirit at the beginning of the day, and have conversations with me about the decisions which must be made . Now counsel is good............and godly counsel is highly recommended but not above, or over the wife or husband. If there is an umbilical cord found in all this..........then it is certainly time to cut it off NOW!
Where we seek to find solace, yes any comfort in a time of distress or sadness, should be in bosom of the wife and not in a board room with many people listening in or on the phone with parents or others we might want solace with. What goes on with the husband/wife should remain in their own house/household and not sent out like an email blast on Facebook!
In the blog I wrote: Love By Subduing What? I wrote about the helpmate. Here read a portion:
In scripture, we find God assigning men to have a "helpmate". Her worth was to be his help, assist him in accomplishing goals in subduing the earth.....to encourage him, and partner with him in producing children to populate the earth they would subdue. Said husband cannot do that with mommy and daddy!
God did not want Adam to be alone.
Is the man subduing, as to working in the field, the place he is called? If he is taking his role seriously about being the man God created him to be, then are you and I , as women, taking our role seriously and filling it? In working alongside our husbands, we find relationship and not only that, but we find a man who leaves his mother and father......joins with his new wife, his partner for life in the grace of God and fulfill the assignment given to them. They join forces! They join together what God had always planned to do. He does not bring along all the ideas or thoughts his folks had........no, he joins forces to find what God planned for him and his "helpmate".....they join together. He knows his wife and her family. THE HUSBAND LEADS LIKE JESUS LEADS!
to cleave: to stick together like glue
Interesting that cleaving is sticking that close as compared to glue.
This use of dabaq is given in Strong's as to cling or stick to. This is what we find in Genesis 2:24.
Their being "one flesh" was intimacy in love. This was a love that was 24/7 in our days of 365 in a year. Yes, year in, and year out, they were joined together. They are one! We are to be the committed who will not quit when things are not right and the going gets rough! Committed always means being patient with your "mate". So reality is having one heart with that person. It consists of BEING willing to admit any wrongs...........and
always ready to forgive the other for anything!
Bringing others into the cleaving means (you are ) allowing others to dictate your life. That is bringing "others" in that intimacy
that God planned only for husband and wife. So that being intimate is changed to include others.........and allowing them a say when the spouse knows absolutely nothing about what is agreed on with others apart and away from "the cleaving" God desires for His children.
Only God and His counsel should be considered. Certainly each should have friendships,
but not to the point of shoving "mate" into corner or raising the hand while texting...........just so you can text your favorite"peep". If that "intimacy" is not established early on, then when tribulations come, and it will come, and it will be harder to maintain that intimacy or even find it. In that relationship, if the security and commitment are not there, then certainly when all falls apart, one of the said couple will
feel abandoned. It takes a commitment to discover that wonder that is marriage and know that God has a better plan for you, than say, "your best "bro" or even maybe " the folk's " do!
Father, today, we are holding Your Word up and speaking clearly with expectation!
Father, as a couple today, we pray for Your divine intervention on this unity and harmony within our marriage. We are contacting YOU the Author and the Finisher of our faith and put
this Word into motion. This Word will not return void, but will accomplish
where it is sent. We are totally leaning on YOU and learning of YOUR wisdom,
drawing on Your strength and filled with Your quietness……that is bringing the
Results we believe for our marriage that would be one of unity and harmony.
We pray for our eyes to see where we might have missed the mark in heeding a godly marriage. Help us to be available to our spouse. May we bring glory to YOU Who created marriage for the man and woman. Help us to cleave......like glue and not like velcro for velcro will wear out and pull apart and away from its duty. Our desire is not to quit, give up and just leave, no we value our marriage and pray for it to be established in the love You God meant it to be. May we bring glory to You in and through our marriage. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen!
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